Prague is the best city in the known world

Nicole made me write that title. The truth is, I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry! At least before, when I wasn't eating, I was used to not eating so I didn't mind. But then on Sunday night I cooked all this stuff and my stomach got used to food again. And so far today it hasn't had any, and it's already 3:00. If I were still in the states, I wouldn't be hungry, because it would be 8:00. Nicole and I were going to eat at Country Life today, a little nostalgia for the Czech countryside I suppose, but then she ate some of the potato salad I made (with, yes, white potatoes... the sacrifices I've had to make here!) and now she's not hungry. So I have to wait until she gets hungry again, which could be days. Not only that, but I'm thirsty. Parched practically. And I don't have a phone. The metrocard that Yuval gave me expires in 25 minutes. Yesterday I had to buy a casserole dish, tupperware, and a food grater. "Fully furnished"? Ha! The snow melted and now it's just wet. And I'm sleepy. I also don't have a job yet. This city is beating me down, down, down. The people here are all pickpockets. It costs like $20 to wash your clothes here. There was a coup and now the communists are in power again. There are all these crazy rules now. It used to be an 800kc fine for not having a metropass. Now it's 800 lashings. Foreigners will be expelled pretty soon. Some are being shot. They're erecting statues of that kid from Rushmore. I hate that kid from Rushmore. My knee itches. My nose is dry. Quinoa is too expensive here. The farmer's markets aren't actually run by farmers at all. Casa de Luz is far better than any restaurant here. Gates was supposed to pay Nicole $30, but he only paid her $20. I don't even know how to begin prostituting myself here. I probably won't figure it out until it's too late anyway. Lord, I'll probably accidentally eat some cheese at some point. I can't find an adapter/converter for my computer that won't blow up the apartment, so I can't write. There's so much joy here, I don't know what to do with it. I live a couple of blocks from the Jewish Cemetary, and it's walled in so that I can't see it, which is much worse than it being not there at all. There's a Kafka statue even closer to our apartment, of Kafka sitting on top of a headless suit, and it gives me nightmares. Last night I dreamt I was sky diving and I didn't pay attention to where I was going, and I landed on some trees. I tried a new blanket last night and it had dust on it so it gave me the sniffles. There's a pizza party somewhere in Prague and we're missing it. I bet sushi night was great at Casa yesterday. I bet pizza night will be almost as good this Saturday. I've been reading about Pol Pot and Angelica's Kitchen. Pol Pot was perhaps the second worst leader in world history. Vaclav Haval was obviously the first worst. I haven't read Boy's Life yet, so Rachel can't be too happy about that. Most of my friends and all of my lovers are in cities other than Prague. I miss them. Especially the lovers. I wish I could download food. I bet you can do that in the states. Nicole and I might go to Translyvania and meet some real live vampires. I could probably get a job washing dishes in a sausage restaurant. Nicole, stop looking over as I type this. It's a surprise. Last night we went to the coolest techno club in the world, The Roxy. I had never seen so much unapologetically bad dancing in my life. People really express themselves with their arms here, because their language is so impossible to understand, and one guy should have been an elasto superhero the way his arms flailed about. These two guys on ecstasy kept giving each other high fives, and one of them would slap the ass of any woman who walked by. I was going to slap his ass as revenge, but then he disappeared. Hannah and I sat on the balcony and critiqued every individual dancer so mercilessly that we were no longer allowed to dance, for fear of being hypocritical. I got tipsy and became a genius again. I got all the beans and grains and pasta and brown rice syrup and tahini and tempeh that we could ever need for only $20. I discovered the best cookie in the world, which is tohum tahini, oats, walnuts, raisens, and wheat germ. You just mix everything together and don't even have to cook it. If you think Prague 1 is great, just wait until you see Prague 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14. Prague gets progressively better the higher the number. Except for Prague 8, which has too much food and not enough bombs. Brooke's sister is back with her host family. I'm going to apply at some English bookstores and expat bars. And there's another vegetarian restaurant with a store attached, albio, that we'll hopefully go to today. Bio is organic. Rachel's practically on the plane right now. I've been having tons of good story and play ideas here. I found an internet cafe that forgot to charge me. Yuval took me to a bar called the shot out eye, which was perhaps the best bar I'd ever seen. I didn't like that Yuval forced me to buy a beer, since he's so convinced that not drinking here is a crime, but I've forgiven him. Now he's in Budapest, having the time of his life. We'll go there some time. It won't be as good as Prague, but it has caves, so it will be pretty awesome. I had a flying dream last night. Maybe we'll find a cheap typewriter. The communists are doing some good things, like legalizing slavery. Nobody is forced into slavery, but if you wish to become a slave and give up all your self-determination for the rest of your life, you can choose to do so. "Free to Choose" is their slogan. They are also building a monorail. Prague is good for my skin. Czech TV is the best. To come to this computer, I got to ride the coolest thing ever... constantly moving elevators. There's no door, you just step on, and then when you see your floor, you step off. Amazing that they have something that requires such coordination in a country so sloshed with beer. The Czechs are alright.

So things are definitely looking up. Still hungry though.