I'm not having doubts, I promise you Nicole, not for a second. It's just...

My life in Austin was perfect. Why did it take me so long to realize this? I had an easy job at a restaurant that served the best food in the world, an unlimited supply of brilliant friends, a free room in a vegan co-op with my smart/funny/nice/gorgeous/Chicago-born girlfriend, a reliable bicycle, and the best live music in the world. What have I done??

This is my last night in Austin. I don't want it to end. I just want it to go on and on like those nights in Scandanavia and Alaska. Oooh, I would hate to have a bad night in one of those places. That would be a miserable six months. But this is a good night. Maybe it won't end. There's really no way to say for sure. Just because every night before has ended isn't necessarily proof that January 21, 2005 central time zone will end.

I know Prague is going to be fantastic. I just wish I could be there and in Austin at the same time. Twins are so lucky. They get to be two places at once. Sometimes the second place is only a few inches away when the twins are really close, but even that is something. Yet I digress. Last night, Owen from The Arcade Fire said to me, "Cheer up, Rhys. It's really hard to leave a city, but very easy to come back. So it's good that you're at least trying to leave Austin." I don't care if he's right. I'm going to be sad. Don't worry, Nicole, it will only be for a few months, and then I'll be my usual silly self again.

I've heard that it's impossible to be depressed or annoyed or uncomfortable or angry or hungry or sleepy or quaking with excrutiating pain in Prague. I hope this is true, because I'm going to be there soon. I mean, you know, I can't wait to be there and all that. This could be one of the best things I've ever done. But I wish this night in Austin would last, if not forever, then maybe half that. Man, why can't I just have a twin like everyone else?!