yesterday was my b'day and it was only okay

prepare yourself for my most self-indulgent blog post ever.
dashed out and unedited.

if you want to avoid uninteresting self-reflection, i recommend you skip to the bottom part of the post that includes information about the CRAZY football game i went to this afternoon.


THE MEDIOCRE BIT:
i've really given up on the idea of having a great birthday. i haven't had a great birthday since i was in grade school and we used to make all of my friends come to the roller skating rink and eat cake with me. this year i was far away from my two homes and, even though i feel very close with a lot of my friends here, the birthday felt relatively unspecial.

THE MEDIUM-GOOD BIT:
i shouldn't say that, though. the girls threw me a picnic in this beautiful park. and it was delicious and joyful. but everyone had to do homework and was tired from staying out late the night before, so the picnic was packed up, over, and moved out within an hour. then i went on a beautiful walk through prague's gardens with zdenek and some other study abroad kids, and, well, that was the best part of the day. we went into a mirror maze, which is too awesome to describe without pictures.

THE DEPRESSING BIT:
the night before my birthday, everyone wanted to go play darts near the dorms and then, i guess go somewhere else. i was all ready to go to the dorms when i texted kristen and she said she was at some beer garden instead. i asked her where it was, but instead of texting me with directions, she told me only that she was with austin and that the girls were still at darts. so i figured she didn't really want me to come out (knowing full well that i was probably wrong, but sometimes you just get in these moods... you know). so i texted kelli and asked if they were still at darts, she said yes but that they were leaving soon. i asked how long she though they'd be there and she never responded, so i just stayed in. one other guy wanted to see if i wanted to hang out, but i was in the midst of a lethargic self-pity session.

right at midnight, i got a call that i thought would be a happy bday wish, but it was someone looking for the other nicole. then i opened the cards my parents left for me and my mom got my age wrong. so, what else could i do but make myself a bday card and read half of milan kundera's the joke.

the next night, everyone sort of acted like they had to come out, but didn't really want to. evidently, they all stayed out really late the night before and so they all left for home early and rhys and i watched hair in the backroom of the blind eye with one regular and one owner. that was okay.

WHY IT ISN'T THAT DEPRESSING:
i didn't actually feel depressed. just baffled at how birthdays are always let downs. so i instead just treated it like a normal night and was pleased to have some alone time to read and reconnoiter. maybe one day i should have a good, old-fashioned birthday party where i make all of my friends come to a skating rink and also get a cake. (vegan cake, of course.)

i feel sort of depressed right now, but i think that's for other reasons (i.e. staying out too late.)

THE GOOD
i probably should have started with this. i woke up, went to the internet cafe, and had already received emails from amy (from austin) and kristen (from b'ham), who are my two best friends in the world. this made me feel happy. then, when we met with zdenek for the tour, he had brought me a little dish with a string attached too it. i don't know what it is for, but it was the perfect b'day present because only zdenek would get me a tiny yellow dish with a string on it. then, at the end of the tour, russ called. ! russ is one of those people that i just feel happy when i think about him. sometimes i also feel frustrated or annoyed or other things. but, you know, the two of us really care about each other and always will and it was great to hear from him. today, i received happy b'day emails from many of the other important people in my life. chadwick, brazos, diana, my brother, will mangum, geeti, etc. i'm surprised how many people remembered!

also, rhys got me really thoughtful and small gifts, which made me really happy. the small was key, too, because i'll be traveling with only a backpack and messenger bag for over a month after class lets out. and hannah's parents got me pretty flowers. oh, and blind eye noah bought me a birthday pizza and played buddy holly for me at the bar because i really really really wanted to hear it. so, really, i had a really nice birthday where tons of people did nice things for me. i really shouldn't complain at all. man, in retrospect, it was really all very nice.


MORE GOOD
i keep thinking about how happy i am that amy is coming to visit and then, as soon as she leaves, i'm meeting kristen s. (from b'ham) in istanbul for the best vacation of our lives.

also, brazos is gonna like this bit...

THE FOOTBALL GAME
and by football, i mean soccer...

today was the sparta vs. slavia football game. it was way intense. i didn't even really watch the game, though. i just watched the fans. evidently, it is legal to bring flares to football games in the czech republic. right after half-time, the fans pulled out the flares for the first time. they got really rowdy and started waving them around and throwing them. the stands actually caught on fire a few times. and there were what looked like tussles in the stands. the police kept having to storm up through the fans and then firemen with buckets followed behind them. i saw one guy throw a flare at one of the firemen's heads! at one point, one of the flares made it onto the field, and the firemen had to storm onto the field and put out a fire! Dudes! Crazy! (oh, we were in the part of the stands where there were no hardcore, flare-lighting fans, by the way.)

the other interesting thing about the soccer game was that, in the light of what happened to my friends anna and greg (who were beat up by neo-nazis that were in town for a football game), i kept watching for neo-nazis and accompanying propaganda. well, i found it. the slavia fans had put up signs all around the stadium, a few of which included the slogan red and white power (the team's colors are red and white). i don't know if they know exactly what white power means, but right next to the biggest sign that said red and white power, was another smaller one that said something like 'red and WHITE POWER' and had a picture of a fist. i don't really think it was all accidental either, just because of what i've heard about neo-nazis coming in from the countryside to watch football matches. i kept wondering whether the slavia and sparta players had any idea that they have a neo-nazi following. i also wondered how many of the fans knew or thought this. i also wondered why almost all of the signs around the stadium were in english, even though both teams are czech. i'm guessing it had something to do with the fact that football is so big in england, but i don't know.

anyways, that's my day so far. i'm gonna go read for a bit and go out to eat with the girls. hopefully i will wake up a bit first, so that i'm not a drag at dinner. i think i'll go have some espresso or something.

ehhhh...

and, amy and kristen, if you are both reading this, I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF!!!

and, matt (brother), i'll probably see you before you read this, BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU ON MONDAY!!!