In defense of staying at home

There has been some controversy of late, stemming from previous entries in which Nicole seemed to have suggested that I do nothing but stay in the apartment all day. First of all, the implication itself was false. In all the days and weeks Ive been here, only on one of them did I choose not to leave the apartment. This was at the peak of my sickness == I got a cold from the beer, nightshades, and lack of sleep == and I decided it would be better to stay in and rest. I figured out why I was having insomnia, my bed has no headrest so my pillows kept falling off, I fixed the problem and I wanted to take advantage of a much nicer sleeping situation. Plus, Id gone out with Nicole and her friends one night when I was sick, we got lost and it took us forever to get anywhere, and I felt bad and got horrible chills. I was certainly not going to go out just to keep up sanity appearances.

Then a couple of days ago, there was another day where I stayed in most of the day. That was when Nicole got concerned. The thing is, it was because I finally had the guts to plug in my computer here, it didnt blow up, and I was doing a ton of writing that I was really happy with. Plus, I was still sick. I wasnt concerned about being stuck inside, I wasnt concerned about wasting the prague experience, but to Nicole it looked bad. "Did you leave the apartment todaz?" "No, not zet. But I read a book about Pol Pot, and have been humming The Internationale and practicing marches in my long underwear." RED FLAG! Hes on the road to selfdestruction!

Staying inside has a bad wrap. Especially since when youre in a new country, youre supposed to be out exploring and meeting new people and seeing churches and museums and learning prague legends on the streets and so on. If you dont do these things all the time, you are chastized for wasting your precious time abroad, and are considered a coward with no initiative who is frightened of his-her new environment, or depressed, or just letting life go to waste.

But I came here to write. In Austin, I felt like I was being uncreative and unproductive, because even though I was having lots of ideas, I was writing nothing. My life there was great, but I want to be a writer. If I leave here with most of even a first draft of a script, or a book or a play, I will know my time was spent well here, even if I dont speak a word of Czech (too late for that, I already speak a word of Czech), know how to brew my own beer, or where all the great clubs are. This week Ive been in a great writing mood, something I havent been in for a long time. I dont think its the city of Prague thats inspired me. I think its the fact that I dont know anybody and dont go out as much.

I would write more, but my time is almost up at the library. This is a message for Nicole... Dont worry about me. I am going to be okay. I am not depressed, I am not desperetly lonely, and I am not wasting my time here. You dont have a special responsibility for me, you have no blame if I have a bad time, and anyway, Im having a good time and am definitely glad I came. Thanks for inviting me!